old lady cleavage is one of the most unappealing things i've ever seen. when an elderly female intentionally chooses to force the unsuspecting public to see her wrinkled teat, it's overwhelmingly disgusting. sadly, though, it falls into the whole train-wreck paradigm. i wanted so badly to burn my eyes out, but i couldn't look away from her sagging breasts.
Orlando Bloom is unnecessarily greasy in Pirates of the Caribbean. he glistens. and not in a "he's sexy because he glows" kind of way, but more in a "does he have a glandular disorder?" way. i worry that his pores are constantly weeping. he is also certainly not drinking enough water to stay hydrated.
which is sadder? that i've watched America's Funniest Home Videos nearly everyday for the past week, or that i've seen the same videos several times and yet i still laugh every time. if they are equally sad, then don't worry. neither is true...
part of my job is to work our vendor booth at various community events (festivals, farmers markets, etc.). at today's festival there was a booth somewhere doing updo hairstyles for little girls with curls, lots of hairspray, pretty twists and braids, and silk flowers. sounds cute, right? i thought so, too, until i heard one grandma say to her granddaughter "that hair makes you look like a goddamn hippie. or a hooker. or your mother." it didn't sound like any of those was something to hope for. the small child didn't really seem phased either. i guess if my mom was a brokedown hippie hooker i'd be pretty jaded, too.
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