dear 7-11 franchise owner near me: first of all, you are no papa moe. but who is, really? secondly, and most importantly, why do your slurpee flavors always suck? banana? are you kidding? no one likes banana. all i wanted was mountain dew. or pina colada. you know...something normal. but noooo. i got thrown a banana curve-ball. yuck. please re-assess your choices in accordance with my desires. yours begrudgingly, claire.
a Jeopardy contestant just said he wants to name his daughter "evil." that's pretty sick nasty. she will surely grow to hate him for it, or go the way of the suburban slut to rebel. either way, he's screwed. plus he's not really allowed to do the crazy as cool name thing, he's no celebrity.
i don't generally think of myself as overly trusting, but when a telemarketer says "i'm gonna make this brief," i certainly don't expect him to talk for a full minute and a half without a breath. are you a champion swimmer, sir? or perhaps a seasoned trombone player? because that's some lung capacity you've got. oh, and to answer your eventual question, no. always no.
milk and i have one thing in common: oreo is our favorite cookie. oh, and we are both super white. so i guess it's two things. either way, pass me the oreos, milk. let's get our share on.
new goal for the summer: read an effing book. i love reading, and i have a stack of choice novels just waiting for me. first on the list? finish "A Clockwork Orange." aaaand go.
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