i recognize that i broke a promise by not posting this last night, however it was due to circumstances beyond my control. i wrote the whole thing, and when i went to hit post, my internet freaked out and closed. sooo i lost the post and am having to re-write it now. either way, here it is. the end of a Canadian saga.
ORANGE EGGS AND DYLAN: A Seuss-like Undersea Afternoon
after falling into deep tiramisu induced comas, my mom and i woke up a little later the next morning than we had planned for. oops. we decided to go downstairs, check out of our hotel (pay for the $8 bottle of water my mother accidentally bought from the minibar), get the car from the valet and head to Stanley Park. Stanley Park is a gorgeous green oasis right outside of downtown Vancouver. it is home to the Aquarium, various random statues (like "Girl in Wetsuit"), walking/hiking trails, and gorgeous look-out points. one not so great thing about Stanley Park? all the roads are one way. so once you have committed or driven past something you may have wanted to stop and see, it's too darn late. you have to go all the way back around the entire park to get back to where you think you want to be.
in making our way to a "very nice restaurant with amazing views" that was pointed out to us by the concierge, we accidentally drove right past the place, not knowing it was our destination until it was too late. so on we drove, in hopes of running into one of the other few good restaurants in the park before having to go all the way around again. in a way, i'm glad we missed our intended destination, because the brunch we got at our eventual respite was pretty fantastic. we ended up at the park's tea house with a waiter who made us feel more uncomfortable than i think most humans could. Dylan is this character's name. it all began with him placing our napkins on our laps, and got weirder the longer we were there.
being the twinkies my mother and i are, we ordered the same thing for brunch - crab eggs Benedict. upon poking my first egg with my fork i encountered a strange and almost fearful sight. the yolks were orange. and i don't mean kind of a little orangey in tint. i mean they were straight up orange. like Halloween decoration orange. freaky weird. so weird i had to take a picture to send to Jeremy, just so that someone else would have proof that if my mother and i died from eating the eggs, Dylan and the tea house were to blame. despite my initial shock and confusion, i forged on due to hunger and was surprised that the eggs tasted just fine. like normal yellow eggs. we decided that Canadian chickens must just be more Seuss-like than good old American chickens. their hens have a sense of humor.
the awkwardness of Dylan is hard to explain, it's more so one of those "you had to be there" situations. it was his entire aura that made you feel uncomfortable. also, he talked slower than is the general pace, so you felt like you were hanging on each word waiting for the end of the sentence. if it was ever going to come. he offered us tourist advice, suggesting that we go to the anthropology museum because "i know you would very much appreciate it. you would enjoy yourselves very much." how do you know that Dylan? we just met. and, frankly, we didn't meet. you introduced yourself and awkwardly served us breakfast. also, you slyly got us to order mimosas. so, we are not besties or anything.
after our delicious, albeit bizarre, brunch we headed back around the majority of Stanley Park to the Aquarium. this Aquarium is huge. i mean, giant. also, the line to get into the Aquarium wrapped nearly halfway around the building. we didn't mind, it's not like we had a pressing schedule, and this was, after all, our main Vancouver tourist attraction. standing in line was also fairly entertaining because of the pre-teen boy in front of us who, for the life of him, could not stand still in line for more than 2 minutes. if at all. he wandered through the bushes next to the line, peeking through, and finding his own path through the trees to his father in the real line. and there were plenty more people for us to watch.
once inside the doors, they take your picture in front of a green screen. you can pick out your background and buy the prints later, which of course we did. i won't describe the entire Aquarium from entrance to exit, but i will present the highlights. 1. they have BELUGAS! which is way cool. 2. they have bats. which was the least fun surprise i have ever had in my life. Aquarium means undersea. bats do not live under the sea. no thank you. 3. we saw a 4D movie, which in itself was AWESOME, but the children behind us were my least favorite people to ever exist. actually, their parents were because it was the parents who both made their children that obnoxious, and did nothing to protect us innocent bystanders from their wrath. perfect example of how some people should not be allowed to procreate. 4. the octopus changed color for us. which is pretty baller, if you ask me. 5. they have a whole downstairs exhibit dedicated to frogs. while frogs are not necessarily my favorite animals, it was still pretty cool. and some of them were kinda cute.
on our way out, we took pictures and made wishes throwing pennies into the Orca fountain in front. then we hopped in the car and headed south, back to the border and our beloved state of Washington. for some reason, waiting at the border often inspires much hilarity in our car, and this return trip was no exception. there were even videos taken in tribute to my grandmother and her hilarious way of talking. we are terribly good at impersonating her. but those will not be posted out of respect to both my mother who would be extremely embarrassed and my grandmother who would not understand that we were mocking her. all in all, it was a perfect little weekend escape, and a chance for my mother and i to flash our fancy passports. thanks, Canada for playing host. we will be seeing you again sometime i hope.
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