DAY eleven

My second day at work was spent entirely in meetings. Good thing I like the people I work with and am excited about my projects, otherwise it would have been rough. Oh, and the free Jimmy John's lunch didn't hurt. And knowing what movie Kiandra and I were headed to at the end of it all really helped me get through the day (and gave me some super daydreams). No shame, people. This shit was golden.

DAY ten

First day as a Graduate Assistant! YIKES. I have an office, keys, and meetings on my calendar. This is for real! I'm so excited for this job and the experience it will give me in Student Affairs...not to mention the swag I scored today (and will keep getting) and the sweet deal on tuition. :) Now it all begins!

DAY eight/nine

Right, well I said this might happen when I started this blog. I definitely forgot to post yesterday. I started the day with Beth's bridal shower, and then lost the rest of it and all of today to reading Catching Fire and Mockingjay. OOPS. Tomorrow is my first day at my Assistantship at the U, though, so I should certainly have something to post then.

DAY seven

I spent a delightful day with my long lost friend Alex exploring Minneapolis. We started at the farmers market and got some sick deals on baskets. Check it out...5 for $1!

Next we had a bloody mary lunch at The Cafeteria in Uptown, and then wandered around MOA (many surprises were in store there...). I can't wait to have more great days with my dearest Alex!

DAY six

I took an accidental 5 hour nap today, so I have relatively nothing to share. I did however receive a heartbreaking ESPN update (which was also texted to me by a Chicago friend sharing my misery). I'm not sure how to feel...

DAY five

Today was Susan's last day in the Twin Cities, so we played tourist. First campus, then we cooled off in a movie for a bit, before going to the Capitol building, the Cathedral of St.Paul, and a short stroll along the mighty Mississippi. After I drop Susan off at the airport tomorrow at the crack of dawn I will be alone in my new life for the first time. Weird.
I promise my pictures will improve... I'm still getting the hang of this whole thing.

DAY four(th of July)

Happy Amurcuh, everybody! Today I celebrated the birth of our nation by getting my cable and internet up and running so I could watch this week's episode of the Bachelorette. Oh, and then my mom and I went to Woodbury to see some sweet fireworks.

DAY three

I have Internet! Cable...not so much. After 4 very frustrating and unsuccessful calls to Comcast to get picture and sound to go along with the channel guide and information I'm giving up on tv for the night. I apologize for my not so thrilling posts in these first days, I promise better pictures are to come.

Damn you, Comcast.

DAY two

I am officially an adult now. I spent my second day in Minnesota making a gigantic and terrifying purchase, but I am happy to report I've got wheels, y'all!

It's hard for me to look like a serious adult, as demonstrated below. He still doesn't have a name...any suggestions?

UPDATE: he's got a name now! Reginald Mercer Goldberg. learn it and love it, folks.

DAY one

I have arrived! Thanks to Kiandra and Ryan and their extreme muscle, my entire UHaul was unloaded and carried up 2 flights of stairs in 90 degree weather in under 2 hours. We are superhuman. And now that it is technically almost day two in the great state of Minnesota, I'm finally getting around to posting. My pictures aren't all that exciting because my brain and body are exhausted from the chaos of the past 36 hours.

First: an injury sustained early in the unloading process, followed by many bruises.
Second: the St. Croix river welcoming me to MN.

the why of the thing

I have friends who have created blogs to post a picture a day from their travels through life. Sometimes the photos are mundane or boring, sometimes they are silly or staged, some days they are even forgotten. The days when the photo really captures the person's life, gives a slice of the world through their eyes, however, are momentous. Every time I come across these photo blogs I feel inspired to add it to my bucket list. As I made my triumphant return from my parent's rambler in Bothell to my new digs in the Windy City I even vowed to start one of my own to no avail. I can blame this failure on a number of things - my lack of a smartphone capable of taking and posting pictures directly on the internet, my laziness, and the fact that life got so busy so quickly that this great idea got lost in the shuffle. But I think I know now the real reason I let it fall by the wayside - Chicago wasn't a new enough adventure for me. I'd been there and done that all before in the 4 years I called Loyola's lakeshore campus my home. I didn't feel the need to record my daily life because for the most part I was going back to old haunts. You can only find amusement in so many late night travels on the Red Line to want to capture the moments forever in blog history.

But my next adventure, well that's a horse of a different color. In a few short weeks I will be packing my adult life yet again, loading it all onto a truck, and driving north in search of a brand-spanking-new life. Destination: Twin Cities. Reason: University of Minnesota Grad School - MA in Higher Education. Goal: never let myself forget to have fun with life, every day. This blog will hopefully help in that endeavor, forcing me to observe the world around me, never take any moment for granted, and crossing some things off my bucket list along the way. I can't promise I won't have forgotten days, or those days where my life is pretty rote and therefore afford nothing more than a picture of good food or a pretty tree. But I can promise that I will live each day to the fullest and try my hardest to become an adopted Minnesotan, sharing my first glorious year in the land of 10,000 lakes ONE PICTURE AT A TIME.

countdown to DAY ONE: 26 days.

Letter of Love

Dear Minnesota,
This is a love letter. I know that's a bold statement to start with, but guess what? I'm a bold gal. I have been not so patiently anticipating my move to your lush and vibrant landscape for months now, and let me tell you, absence does make the heart grow fonder. So I don't want to beat around the bush any longer, I'm going to get right to the point and lay it all on the line. I'm ready to really fall in love with you, hard and fast, and I hope you are prepared to love me back because at this point in my life I just don't think I could handle that kind of rejection.

I may be sarcastic and bitingly witty, sometimes judgmental, and joke that I'm a real meanie, but in all honesty I'm a pretty nice lady. I like to think that I will be able to embrace the "Minnesota Nice" and give off the same warmth I've always felt from your people before. I can honestly say I've never met a Minnesotan I didn't like, and that's certainly something to aspire to. I can be generous with time and treasure, am a fantastic listener, have a great shoulder to cry on, and genuinely love to hug, all traits I think will help in my pursuit to fit in among the ranks of the sweetest people in America. Let's be real, there are too many entitled, self-absorbed and selfish people in this world and I don't need to be another, especially if being nice will get me in your good graces.

Hot dish is one of the greatest food concepts I've encountered in my 23 years as an eater. I can't wait to forget about the word casserole entirely and jump on the hot dish train to a satisfied stomach. I love saying my "oh's" like a real "o", and vow to embrace the "ay" in bag, dragon, flag, and diagonal like I was born doing so. I'll even do it without mockery or mimicry. I promise to visit the boundary waters at least once during my tenure as a Minnesotan, if only just to say I've been and lived to tell the tale. I doubt I'll participate in any daring outdoor adventures while I'm there, but it's enough to just have been, right? Not only are the boundary waters on my list of places to visit, but I can't wait to tour every corner of the little man's hat, taking in your best sights.

I may have never been much of a state sports super fan before, but Minnesota, you are one of the few places I think I can really root for. Whether I'm clearing for the Twins, Timberwolves, Wild, Vikings, or my new school team the Gophers, you can bet I'll be one of the loudest in the bunch. Lord knows I love me a good live sporting event, and even more an underdog comeback kid. I won't be a fair-weather fan and desert you when times get tough. Once I've got a Minnesota address to call home I'm all yours - win or lose, rain or shine, sweltering summer or bone-chilling winter I'll be your girl. Wearing your colors and cheering your names.

I'm going to be calling you home for the next two years at the very least, and I'm hoping, if all goes well and we get along as swimmingly as I've planned, it will be for much longer than that. This is a long-term relationship we are starting here, and as Luke told Lorelai "I'm all in." I'll give you my heart if you give me yours, and we can share all of the wonders and secrets I bet you have hidden in your borders. We've got memories to make, my friend. Let's get started!

xoxo - your new lady love,
Claire

twelve schmelve

alright, so maybe my re-entry into the blogosphere hasn't gone as intended. maybe i totally forget that this totally public online diary exists for periods of several weeks. and maybe i will blame that on the fact that i've got lots going on in my world right now. so to get back up to speed on the life of me, here's a short list of the ch-ch-changes since i last updated.
summer happened, which brought along a ridiculous heat wave that my body was not equipped to handle.
my mom paid an extended visit to Chicago to see her baby giiierrrrllll in July. we had a blast and did lots of touristy things, and i was reminded just how freakin' awesome that Susan lady is. she's a gem.
another awesome friend moved away from Chicago (and me) - Hailey Ballhands Gillen, you will be missed (but you will also be visited in WV, no doubt.)
i switched departments at work, which so far is a welcome change and hopefully will bring more excitement as the program year swings into full gear.
my computer died a sad and painful death, but out of misery rose Rob the MacBook Pro. who, let's just be honest, is the most badass laptop in the world. he's sleek and sexy, too. RIP Theodore.

that is by no means exhaustive, and doesn't really show how busy i've been lately, but you get the general idea. on a happy note, a coworker has become one of my closest friends over the past few months, and i am delighted to add her to the short list of people i really dig. Beth, and by extension her fiancé Tommy, are great additions to my circle and i'm so excited to have many more adventures with them over the coming months. i'm really pumped to get drunk and sappy at your zoo wedding reception next year and say things i might regret in the morning, guys. and that's a sign of true love.

now i'm off to spend a good chunk of the day studying for the GRE (while some distracting television plays in the background). i will tell you one thing about the GRE, it's not making me feel any better about my math abilities. i wasn't wrong all those years when i avoided math like the plague. i really don't possess a talent for the numbers. words are my game, y'all. good thing i won't have to take any math once this GRE ridiculousness is over and done with. wish me luck! countdown to test date: 41 days. (aka: time to hit the books!)

ttfn

elevensies

right, so it's been about 5 months since i've written a new post. not that you could tell, because i removed the date stamp from my blog. but in the interest of full disclosure, i thought i should share. i could come up with many excuses for why this is the case, but really it comes down to laziness. that, and legitimate busy-ness. being a working girl is a lot of...work. sure i have cake hours, and yes i make time for other things outside of work like beer and volleyball games and trips to Target, but i just haven't made blogging a routine yet. it deserves that kind of attention. so, here goes. really this is the third start, but that's okay. there's a cliche about the third try for a reason. i'm going to keep this older count going because it represents the posts i've made since being a Chicago resident, and now i can move on to the rest of number eleven.

two of the best friends i know i will ever have moved away from the city last weekend. whomp whomp. debby downer. Kaeli left for a Mexican adventure with her brothers and mom, and then off to her new life in Charleston. i'm so happy for her to be able to start fresh, but i will miss my Kaels! she's so full of love and light! Kiandra moved home to Minnesota after graduating with honors and two majors. i'm so proud of her and excited for her to be up north where she belongs. i really don't know what i will do now that i can't see her the 4 times a week i'm used to, though. it's crazy to think that Kaeli has only been a part of my life for 2 and a half years and Kiandra for 1 and a half and already they mean so much to me. these two people have changed me for the better and i have been blessed to spend what time with them i did. i am also looking forward to spending lots more time together in the future. i know that no matter where we are in our lives we will always be in one another's hearts. ladies, thanks for being incredible women and thanks for sharing the city with me!

ten fingers and ten toes

i spent so much time working on a spreadsheet today at the office that i actually started seeing stripes. white, glowy, ghostly stripes where there were none. not okay. thank god i finished building the worksheet (complete with complex and crazy formulas) so that i won't ever have to spend hours in front of it again.

the Bachelor (of which i am watching my first and only 3 minutes of this season, seriously) just said "she's going to have her own Pretty Woman experience today." soooo he's gonna dress her up like a broke-down hooker with a bad pink wig in 80s chic street walkin' wear only to bring her to Rodeo and buy her classy lady clothing to dress her up so his rich friends don't know he is paying for sex? sounds like a fun day. maybe if her laugh was as infectious as Julia's or the bachelor looked more like good old Richard i'd watch for a little longer. alas, he's no Gere.

number nine

the title of this post will only be humorous to those members of my immediate family, which i cannot fully explain. it's just another one of those random sayings that i grew up hearing and repeating, but not having any clue they came from movies or books or random bits of pop culture. watching Dana Carvey on SNL as the "church lady," seeing movies like "Raising Arizona," and reading books like "All Creatures Great and Small" shattered the image i had of my parent's comedic abilities. i found out they were just ripping off funny from the greats. it's fine, but it was weird to hear things i had grown up knowing from their original and previously unknown sources. my family, just like all normal ones, is strange. and now to watch "Raising Arizona" for some bedtime laughs.

8's great

playing my itunes on shuffle while i shower has illustrated just how diverse my musical taste is. in one shower and subsequent jam session i heard this interesting list of gems (all of which i totally dug and sang along to):
I Miss You - Dreamstreet
There's a Good Reason These Tables are Labeled Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of it Yet - Panic! at the Disco
Life is Wonderful - Jason Mraz
This City is Contagious - The Cab
We've Got it Goin' On - Backstreet Boys
Que Pasa? - Juanes
Panic Attack - Atmosphere
Some Fantastic - Barenaked Ladies

and that's just eight of the songs...
being eclectic is much more fun, i've decided.

seventh heaven

i'm such a swingin' single. my big friday night plans? curl up in bed with Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. re-reading the books is creating very mixed emotions. i had forgotten so many of the little details since i read them for the first and only time so long ago, and i love putting the pieces back together working my way towards the end of the story. but watching the movies right after i finish each book is actually filling me with anger. despite my strong and enduring love for Rupert Grint and all that is Ronald Weasley, the movies are sorely lacking the depth of the books. which is only this apparent when compared side-by-side. i still like the movies for what they are, but the large chunks of story-line, entire characters and character growth and development that are missing hurt me. Hermione is much more annoying in the books, yet despite it all Ron still loves her. Snape is much more curiously allied, it's a lot easier to believe his loyalty to Dumbledore and the side of right reading the books. poor Winky is completely erased and the entire story line of Barty Crouch, Jr. is much less sordid. oh, and where the hell is Pigwidgeon? i want that adorable little ridiculous owl to flit around and hoot madly. oh, well. on to the Order of the Phoenix...my fave.

sexy six

Jersey Shore season 3. that is all i have to say. because that is the only thing that happened today that is worth sharing. not only did the premiere include compulsory bitch fighting between JWoww/Snooks/everybody awesome and Sammi/Ronnie, there was already some hot tubbin', unexpected newbie nudity, adorableness from Vinny, the duck phone and so much more. no matter what is going on in my life, i can tell you that for the duration of this season of Jersey Shore i will be always be found on my couch Thursday nights with my favorite band of guidos, guidettes and juiceheads.

party of 5

for some reason when this song came on during my shower shuffle session tonight i was super into it. i mean, the Chili Peppers are always my loves, but this was totally my jam in the moment. also, who doesn't love when a band uses words like "lexicon" in their lyrics. the lyrics for your enjoyment:

"Save the Population"

History's so strong
History's so strong
History's so strong
History's so strong

Sing another drinking song the honkytonk will do
Making another breaking bone your favorite ingenue
This the distant dawn
This the distant dawn

I put my cards upon the table
I do this because I am able
One picks his broken down devotion
I threw my pistol in the ocean
Eyes wide with revelation
Shine at the police station
And when the verdict comes round
I'm sure that you will go down

Stay all night
we'll save the population
Stay all night
we'll save the population
Stay all night
we'll save the population
Stay all night
we'll save the population

(Instrumental Bridge)

Pistol and its pawn
Sell it to the lexicon
A pistol and its pawn
Blood and border lines be drawn

Take another bottle down the brothel and the shrew
Make another awful sound, a rather gothic brew
History's so strong
History's so strong

I put my cards upon the table
I do this because I am able
One picks his broken down devotion
I threw my pistol in the ocean
Eyes wide with revelation
Shine at the police station
And when the verdict comes round
I'm sure that you will go down

Stay all night we'll save the population....(x10)

four Loko

Snooki and the Situation both wrote books. just read that and soak it in for a second. okay, now think about this: they "wrote" these books, but someone whose brain cells haven't been burned by excessive tanning actually did the putting together of the words part. SHADOW WRITER. i seriously think i missed my calling. how does one get that gig? sure, it's a thankless job and you probably get paid crap, but you get to spend quality time trying to make coherent sentences out of the ridiculousness spouting from the mouths of geniuses like Snooks and Sitch. if you know me, you know my love for all things Jersey Shore. and this love isn't a fake love, or a mocking love. i have legitimately formed bonds with these GTL'd, poofed and juiced up guidos and guidettes. (some more so than others, sure. but nobody actually likes Ronnie and Sammi.) with the impending premiere of season 3 (THURSDAY!!) i am overcome by excitement. i have missed my adorable trainwrecks and can't wait to spend a little more time with them. but, seriously, if you know how i can get in on the ground floor of JWoww's literary debut hit a sister up. or, maybe Vinny and i can get together to write a romance novel, if you know what i mean. shoot, gotta go. it's T-SHIRT TIIIIIIIIIMMMMEEEEE!

i have a train boyfriend. he's hot and has gorgeous dark chocolate hair. his name, you ask? oh, i don't know it. or anything about him, other than that he takes the Purple line to Davis every morning and his office has casual fridays. someday, my friends, i will accidentally bump into him as we sway with the motion of the racing train car. i just have to wait until i'm not sick. and maybe until the weather is warmer so there's less coat fluff in the mix. also i have to think of a line. preferably one that's not creepy or dumb. this may take a while...

3 strikes, baby

now that i have my big-girl real-world job i have more time to do origami. thank god, because i thought my paper folding days were over. or, at the very least significantly decreased in number. but then i realized that working lunch coverage shifts at the reception desk was specifically designed to give me origami therapy time. people are always really impressed by my frogs and boxes. and boxes of frogs. so what if frogs and boxes are the only things i can make?

thank you, Leslie Knope, for reminding me how great The Phantom Tollbooth is. i seriously need to pick up a copy and give that sucker a read. it won't be the same without you reading it to me filibuster style in a town hall forum, but giving it a go all on my own will still be a great reminiscence.

take 2

sometimes the immaturity of people you think you knew is astounding and disappointing. come on, people. we are college graduates! we are in our twenties, not middle school. get with the groove. i'm not going into specifics here, because airing my personal dirty laundry in a public forum is not the adult way to handle it. i'm over it and moving on. vent session: complete.

there are so many things i love about my apartment, my building and my management company. seriously, these people are fantastic. my maintenance man, Mike, is the cutest Boston Irish guy, and so sweet. the guy who showed my my apartment two months ago, Andy, is a goofy baby-face and the literal embodiment of the term "goob." my cleaning lady, whose name i sadly can never remember, is an adorable little hispanic woman with a constantly smiling face. and damn if she doesn't keep this place spotless and smelling delightful. so when i went down to do three giant loads of laundry to discover they give us free laundry during the holidays it was just a cherry on top of my adoration sundae. you can bet your sweet behind that i washed my comforter, too.

let's reset the count to 1 again, friends

Ronald Weasley has stolen my heart. he's such a ginger stud. some haters may say that's an oxymoron. they'd argue that flame-headed folk can't be sex gods, but i beg to differ. i have known more than a couple attractive red-heads in my day and Rupert Grint is just the celebrity embodiment of such fiery hotness. sure he's goofy and dopey, but he's also a loyal and courageous sidekick, battling Death Eaters, Snatchers and the Dark Lord with the best of them. plus, he's got good taste in ladies. Hermione Granger's a stone-cold fox. i'm jealous of his enduring affection for her, but i am content to sit back and watch him, wand a-blazing, fight for the good of the wizarding world, just so long as i can see him shirtless a couple times. oh, and don't get me started on the accent. i'm getting weak in the knees just thinking about it. i may have to re-watch a couple more Harry Potter movies tonight just to get my fix.

living alone i have realized that i talk to myself a lot. like hold entire conversations out loud with my own person. growing up an only child i often had to entertain myself and play alone, so talking out loud wasn't really strange. but now that i'm an adult and i discuss mundane everyday things like what i will have for dinner or what my plan for the evening is with myself, it's a little bizarre. thank god i'm not a loner. i mean, i have friends and spend quite a considerable amount of time with them, i chat on the phone regularly with my mother, and i spend all day making perfectly normal conversation with my co-workers. i'm not starved for attention by any means. so i guess what it comes down to is, either i really shouldn't be alone ever, or i find myself quite the entertaining individual. i like what i've got to say and i want to hear myself say it. i'm not sure which of those conclusions makes me sound less strange, but i think they are both equally true. i love having my own time and space, but i really am such a people person that being alone for long stretches of time (like these past few days when i've been sick) is too much for me to handle. and i do like who i am and what i've got to share with the world, which i see as a silver lining of this whole "i talk to myself constantly" thing. i think i'm a pretty great gal, and that's all right by me.

a triumphant return

as i sit alone on the precipice of 2011 reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, clutching a box of kleenex and eating brownies from the pan, i can't help but reminisce on my life this year and the journey on which it has taken me. i figure there is no better time to get back into the swing of blogging than New Year's Eve, taking a look back at the whirlwind of 2010 and all that it has given me.
this year i,
returned from Seattle to my last semester as an undergrad and RA,
started and completed a second internship with a wonderful group of people,
met one of my best friends at said internship,
took four diverse and not too challenging classes to round out my time at Loyola,
partied hard and laughed harder with the best friends a girl could ask for,
celebrated Valentine's day looking over the city getting drunk on free wine,
Spring Break-ed in Seattle with a friend and my glorious mother,
had a pink pasta puke explosion all over the Granville el platform and various other locations,
became a Twins fan,
had a blast at all of the Senior week events,
celebrated a milestone on May 8th (with someone very memorable),
graduated with honors and my family there to see it,
moved reluctantly and sadly back home and into my parent's house,
got a job in my field working with some lovely people,
visited my loves in Chicago for a few short summer days,
took a trip to Minnesota and the Mermadot for a very special friend's 21st birthday,
almost fell in love but not quite,
went to both state fairs as a vendor not a visitor,
took a fantastically last-minute trip to Vancouver with my favorite person (aka my Mom),
welcomed a mid-westerner to Washington state,
packed my entire life into 7 suitcases and 9 boxes,
moved to Chicago on a wing and a prayer (with no job and only a wonderful friend's couch to call home),
moved into my very own apartment,
celebrated my 22nd birthday with my mother and lots of IKEA furniture,
sent out more resumes than i previously thought possible,
interviewed like mad (once with the biggest douchebag EVER),
got an amazing job that i absolutely love (salaried and with benefits, how adult),
learned a new drinking game,
partied like a college kid,
spent a lot of time laughing and eating and drinking with great friends,
went home for my first Christmas as an adult,
and learned how truly blessed i am to have the incredible family and friends i have been given to share it all with.

so even though i say goodbye to 2010 all by my lonesome this evening (due to my current state of illness), i don't feel lonely. this year has brought me nothing but amazing memories and some of the most fun times i have ever had. sure it wasn't all sunshine and daisies, but as i always say, i live with no regrets. every choice i made this year led me to where i currently am - a happy, (generally) healthy, successful, loving and loved young woman on the verge of the great journey of life. i have wonderful friends spread all over the country to ring in the new year with, even though we can't actually be together. So, here's to an amazing ride in 2010 and what i know will be an even more incredible 2011!

~ i am dedicating this first post in my return to blogging to the people who have touched my life most of all this year: Kiandra, Jeremy, Rachel, Hailey, Cassandra, Kaeli, Madison, Jona, Karrah, Audra, Katie, Bryan, Krishna, Kira, Eric, my 17th floor girls, and of course, my mother.
i hope that the new year finds all of you safe, healthy and happy. and, even though some of you aren't in my life as much anymore as you once were, know that you will always have a place in my heart and a share in my memories.

xoxo,
Claire

DAY SIXTY-SEVEN ~ 9.19

ELEVEN.

after packing 5 large boxes to be shipped, 2 suitcases, a couple more Space Bags, and moving the few items left into neat piles to be packed, my room officially looks sad and empty. well, emptying is more accurate, i suppose. i have a little more work to do, and a few more suitcases and boxes to pack, but i've severely dented the daunting piles of packing. i can feel all the hard work in my body, too. my lower back is in pain like whoa, and the rest of my muscles and joints are joining the pain party. time for drugs and sleep, my friends. i've got the first of my last 5 days of work tomorrow. technically it's a half day, but it's still all gross.

DAY SIXTY-SIX ~ 9.18

TwElVe. soooo myspacey.

i did it at a trot, and a gallup, but i also did it real slow so my heart didn't palpitate. i was also not late. i did the PUYALLUP today! recreationally, that is. i've been there 3 times already this fair season, but when you are working not only is it not fun it's downright torturous. a newly christened Seattle-ite Kira and my mother joined in on the adventure. let me say, we sincerely ate our way through the fair. we plowed through some delightful fair fare (haha, check out that clever play on words there folks) including roasted corn on the cob, a GIANT slab of barbeque ribs, curley fries, cotton candy (just my mom and Kira ate that, because it's nasty) and an elephant ear (which i devoured all by myself). the ribs came with a delightful side of pickle, which i can easily say was the greatest surprise of the day. after we rolled ourselves back out to the car, we all headed home looking forward to the impending food comas. delicious day.

today's burning questions:
who is "Kathy the Turner" and what is she turning?
why am i in this basket and where are we going?
did Buckley flush the "toalit"?

DAY SIXTY-FIVE ~ 9.17

lucky 13.

the one day i wear heels to work because "all i ever do is sit all day, right?" i end up standing, walking, and doing general manual labor all day. wonderful. my feet kill. i dealt with a shipment of 40 boxes, moving each one approximately 3 times each, and ran around like a chicken with my head cut off looking for stuff and organizing other stuff and planning for an event i am not attending tomorrow. not my favorite of days. i just have to keep chanting my new "get through my last few days of work" mantra...Chicago is soon...Chicago is soon...Chicago is soon...

DAY SIXTY-FOUR ~ 9.16

catorce.

all told i worked for 11 hours. straight. in one day. sure, that includes drive time to and from the distant land of Puyallup, but still. geez. i'm beat. also smiling and talking to unfortunate looking strangers all day long makes me hurt, body and soul.

DAY SIXTY-THREE ~ 9.15

uno. cinco.

that's really it. i used to like wednesdays...but working in the office all day made me not so excited to celebrate the day of hump.

DAY SIXTY-TWO ~ 9.14

sixteen days.

in other news, i've begun another countdown on the sly. this secret countdown marks the number of days i have left at work. the work that i can no longer focus any attention on anymore. my brain has left the office building. thank goodness it's only a couple more weeks of this lameness.

i'm thinking of entering my leg hair in the record books. it's bad. i'm seriously a woolly mammoth right now. yuck. but girlfriend just doesn't have the time to shave her legs right now. it takes all the energy i've got to get through the days, let alone take care of the caveman look. especially because i'm not showing the gams off anymore this season, and nobody but me knows. well...and now the whole internet knows. oops.

DAY SIXTY-ONE ~ 9.13

while my own personal countdown (aided by Keeks) began a while ago, i figured i might as well start one here. in a mere 17 days i will be an official Chicagoan. now, when i say official i mean i will be an individual who resides addressless and jobless in the Chicago area. but that's really just semantics. so here we are: ONE. SEVEN.

best investment as of late? my jean jacket from Old Navy. sure, it's a bit retro, but it's super cute and perfectly suited to this dreary fall weather we've been having. i've been sporting it like it's all i've got. and that's nearly accurate, seeing as how pretty much everything else i own has been packed, piled to donate, or had the life sucked out of it in a Space Bag. which i am still in constant awe of, by the way. also, i promise to never wear an entire outfit made of denim (a la Justin and Britney circa 2001).

DAY SIXTY ~ 9.12

tonight while working at the Puyallup Fair again i was insulted by a greasy salesman of hair styling products and accosted by the Cookie Lee jewelry lady. neither product is on my must-have list for now or ever, so that was a waste of their time. i will tell you that piglets are super cute no matter what anyone else thinks. especially when they are clamboring over one another to get fed. ADORABLE.

DAY FIFTY-NINE ~ 9.11

more packing. lots more packing. i even boxed up and sealed mementos to keep here in Bothell today, which was a huge accomplishment. those are the first of many more packed and sealed boxes. i also made a late night run with my mother to the grocery store for much needed goodies: Dr. Pepper and Keebler Fudge Stripe cookies. yum. i am so glad my mother is the same person i am and is willing to have strange cravings and travel to fulfill them.

DAY FIFTY-EIGHT ~ 9.10

going through my shoes and deciding which to keep and which to give away was a very emotional process. i sat on the family room floor surrounded by the loves of my life, trying to pick which ones i think are prettier. they are all gorgeous. traumatizing, for sure. in the end, i am proud of my ability to purge. i will not announce here how many pairs of shoes i had, still have, or was able to give away because the numbers are staggering. but i did to a lot of giving away, which is nice.

i used to LOVE going to the Puyallup Fair as a child. working there as an adult? not so much fun. at least we are inside and rain-proof. thank god.

DAY FIFTY-SEVEN ~ 9.9

not my favorite of days. i will not lie, having someone completely lose and screw up something you worked on organizing for several hours and taking absolutely no responsibility for the loss of said item is frustrating. when it's your boss and you can't get mad, it's even worse. work was hectic like whoa, what with the lost box of goodies, and preparing for another big giant fair last minute. oh, well. i'm counting down the days.

DAY FIFTY-SIX ~ 9.8

it is very difficult to focus on work at work when you know you only have like 15 more days of it. i am so beyond checked out it's not even funny. i wish i could tell you what happened today, but i've got really no clue.

DAY SCHFIFTY-FIVE ~ 9.7

in honor of my schfifty fifth post, i am traveling back in time to my sophomore and junior years of high school when i spent countless hours in the newspaper room watching e-baum's world videos like they were going out of style (oh, and writing and editing stories, too). it is my firm belief that the Barque staff of 2003-2005 kept that site and it's wackiness alive. we would even re-enact Aicha in the halls. yep. we were just that cool.

so, here's to the fond memories i have of "the pit" and all the people who made newspaper great. including our fearless leader, Mrs. Golding. who, incidentally, introduced me to my now favorite stand-up comic Eddie Izzard.

ENJOY.

DAY FIFTY-FOUR ~ 9.6

how am i celebrating labor day? i'm laboring. i'm headed in the pouring rain to the fair to takedown the booth and get the trailer ready to be picked up. sounds fantastic. i am very thankful that i have developed excellent clothes layering skills over the years, because my current 4 layers are working really hard for me when i sit in the cold and damp trailer.

DAY FIFTY-THREE ~ 9.5

sorting everything you own into piles to be boxed and sent to different locations at different times is not as fun as it sounds. oh, wait, it doesn't sound fun at all. and it is even less fun than that. needless to say my room is in total chaos. organized into piles chaos. and i am coming to the realization that i own a lot of stuff. the four top categories? shoes, purses, books and DVDs. what a weird life i lead. oh, and i also have a TON of clothing. all of my Chicago friends need to vow to help me make zero clothing purchases for the near and not so distant future. because, really, i've got enough options.

DAY FIFTY-TWO ~ 9.4

i am a chef. i can say this because for breakfast i made my mother and i a delicious feast of crepes. yep. classy. i'm a really good crepe maker, and i only have my middle school Home Ec teacher Mrs. Caldwell to thank for that. she looked like Ms. Frizzle and played tapes of Iron Chef in class. the real Iron Chef, Japan style. with INCREDIBLE english dubbing.

Space Bags are the single coolest invention EVER. seriously. watching all the air get sucked out of your stuff is so satisfying. my mom will only help me pack if we are sucking something, because she is a child.

DAY FIFTY-ONE ~ 9.3

catching up with one of my best and oldest friends made getting up at 5:30am well worth it. also, she made me a killer breakfast, which helped immensely. we talked for something like 7 hours, which seems ridiculous but was very easy for us to do. we had a lot to review. i won't review our whole conversation here, but i will say that she's fantastic. and that she is one from the very short list of humans from the Northwest i will miss once i am a Chicagoan.

the only thing getting me through the fair tonight is the fact that i am bringing home an elephant ear to share with my mother. yummy dough slathered in butter and covered in cinnamon and sugar. delightful.

DAY FIFTY ~ 9.2

i worked. that's about it. mostly my brain is focused on the great move to Chicago.

DAY FORTY-NINE ~ 9.1

it's amazing when you have one of those moments where a song perfectly speaks what you are feeling. driving home tonight from working at our state fair, i nearly cried as i sang along at the top of my lungs to the following song. i don't care if you judge me for liking Fall Out Boy. i'm a big fan of their first two albums, and this song was exactly what i needed tonight. the best part? there really is a light on for me in Chicago.

"Chicago Is So Two Years Ago"

My heart is on my sleeve
Wear it like a bruise or black eye
My badge, my witness
Means that I believed
Every single lie you said

Cause every pane of glass that your pebbles tap negates the pains I went through to avoid you
And every little pat on the shoulder for attention fails to mention I still hate you

But there's a light on in Chicago
And I know I should be home
All the colors of the street signs
They remind me of the pickup truck out in front of your neighbor's house

She took me down and said,
"Boys like you are overrated, so save your breath."
Loaded words and loaded friends
Are loaded guns to our heads

Cause every pane of glass that your pebbles tap negates the pains I went through to avoid you
And every little pat on the shoulder for attention fails to mention I still hate you

But there's a light on in Chicago
And I know I should be home
All the colors of the street signs
They remind me of the pickup truck out in front of your neighbor's house

You want apologies
Girl, you might hold your breath
Until your breathing stops forever, forever
the only thing you'll get
Is this curse on your lips:
I hope they taste of me forever

And there's a light on in Chicago
And I know I should be home
All the colors of the street signs
They remind me of the pickup truck out in front of your neighbor's

With every breath I wish your body will be broken again, again
With every breath I wish your body would be broken again, again
With every breath I wish your body will be broken again, again
With every breath I wish your body would be broken again

DAY FORTY-EIGHT ~ 8.31

announcement: as of mere minutes ago, i purchased a one-way plane ticket to the rest of my life. okay, the ticket is just a Southwest Airlines non-stop flight to Chicago for 30 days from now. and the rest of my life as of then will be living on a gracious friend's couch. but, who cares. i'm 21 (soon to be 22), a college graduate, and totally clueless about what i want. all i know is, whatever i want is in Chicago. and that i will find it. hopefully sooner rather than later, because i can only abuse my friends for so long. so saddle up, kids. mama's comin' to town.

i may have graduated from college, but getting something for free no matter what it is still excites me more than i care to admit. when i found out that i could get a free lunch from Red Robin at work if i came in on my day out of the office (before i work at our state fair) to celebrate a coworker's birthday, i said "are you taking orders yet?" despite the many random free trinkets and bbq dinners i scored in my four years of college, i have not lost any of my appreciation of and determination to get whatever is free. i don't care if it's the 45th Campus Safety magnet i've gotten, it's my magnet and i paid nothing for it. so if i can manage to wrangle a delightful lunch of clucks and fries ("waffle fries...fo free!") from my boss, i will jump on that opportunity right quick. thanks coworker Dawn for turning another year older, and thank you Loyola for teaching me the true value of the American dollar.

DAY FORTY-SEVEN ~ 8.30

break-ups are hard to write about, so i'm not going to try. dump is a fairly accurate descriptor, really. if i'm being honest i'm not doing super well right now. but i've decided on a path to survival (emotional, that is) which i think is a pretty good start. time heals all wounds, right? well i've got a month until i head back to Chicago and start anew. let's get healing.

a one-way plane ticket for the windy city will be purchased within the week. that makes me more excited than i can explain. oh, and just a tad bit terrified. thanks to all the friends who have offered their couches and futons and love while i degrade myself in the search for employment. i will be hitting the pavement, resume in hand, and attempting to take the city by storm. okay, maybe that's a bit too lofty of a goal. more accurately, i will be begging people to hire me for just enough money to afford a tiny and over-priced studio apartment to call home. so, coming to a couch near you October 2010: this big city dreamer. i'll be broken and broke, but eager to receive hugs from the friends i can't keep living without. oh, and if you want to buy me a welcome back drink, i'll take that too.

DAY FORTY-SIX ~ 8.29

working the state fair is proving to be less fun than i desired. but, i did get to check out the day-old piglets in the swine barn. hooray. oh, and i had a Hawaiian shaved ice. which still baffles me. like, why are they Hawaiian? mine was orange flavored and very refreshing. maybe i should travel to Hawaii to research the origins of the shaving of ice. anybody wanna pay for this project?

DAY FORTY-FIVE ~ 8.28

it's my grad party and i'll cry if i want to. well, actually, i'll drink a few beers and get buzzed if i want to. my fam is pretty great, though, so i've really got no complaints. also there was red velvet cake involved.

DAY FORTY-FOUR ~ 8.27

today was a really shitty day. that's all.

DAY FORTY-THREE ~ 8.26

a contestant on Project Runway just said "cray cray." i mean, i know i didn't make it up or anything, but that's my signature. i'm more than willing to attribute this girl's use of my word to my status as major trend-setter.

i don't want to be one-note in this post, but i have more to say on Project Runway. Tim Gunn is legitimately one of my favorite humans ever. he consistently says the greatest things, and has the most distinct lisp in the whole gay community. he is fabulous, pure and simple. and while we are talking about the fabulous men of Project Runway, a word on Michael Kors: stunning. he's so critical, but so very right on.

today was a long and trying day. i won't go into detail, but the first thing i did today was one of the most uncomfortable situations to go through. and then i spent the next 5 hours soaking wet and freezing cold in a trailer at our state fair talking to...well no one. it was dead. i did check out the barn full of bunnies and a few sexy swines to help pass the time. so now that i'm warm and dry, all i want to do is continue lazing around watching television.

DAY FORTY-TWO ~ 8.25

in cleaning my room and doing laundry, i totally forgot that this blog existed. oops.

DAY FORTY-ONE ~ 8.24

watching Michael Scott in his improv class makes me feel so uncomfortable. FBI agent Michael Scarn jumping into every scene with gun drawn is so awkward. poor Michael, he tries so hard. you can see it. he's so bad it's brilliant. watching The Office as much as i do is also scarring me for any future employers. i need my workplace to be exactly like Dunder Mifflin, as i have expressed before. if we don't have our own office Olympics or celebrate a Moroccan Christmas, i just don't know that i will survive.

what's the deal with Snapple lids? are they all true? are none of them true? are only some of them true? i am in such a state of confusion not knowing whether i can trust the knowledge i have gained over the years from drinking peach iced tea and fruit punch, or whether it will in some future social situation make me look like a fool. if my input is of any consequence, i would like to throw my two cents in. all the Snapple facts should be real, because we should be cultivating trust in this world, and because no one wants to have to look them all up to find out if they will be good party conversation starters or not.

DAY FORTY ~ 8.23

doesn't forty look wrong? i feel as though it should be spelled fourty. because that's actually got four in it. i'm just saying.

now that i have both my diploma and official college transcripts, i feel absolutely no different. i mean, both are just composed of pieces of paper, so it's not like they should be all that earth-shattering. i'll tell you what made me feel entirely different though, being merely a bystander in the feverish excitement of back to school. this is the first year in the last 16 years of my life in which i have not bought ANY kind of back to school gear. no new binders, pens, or notebooks. no new tennis shoes, jeans, or the latest trendy clothing. no overpriced books, dorm room essentials, or RA supplies. and what feels even weirder than not going back to school, is not going back early for RA training. the last two years of my life have been dedicated to 80 girls who have touched my heart. most of the best and lasting friendships i have made in college are with other ResLifers. and that's just what we are. lifers. i know that for sure right now, as the feeling of missing out on something creeps up on me with the start of a new school year. but i know that what is coming for me is much better - a real life with the friends i've made, the support of my family, and aided by the skills i picked up along the journey. thanks, ResLife, for the couple years of lock-up.

DAY THIRTY-NINE ~ 8.22

see below for today's post. sure, it was actually Saturday's post, but who's keeping track. oh, that's right. i am. in the title. geez.

DAY THIRTY-EIGHT ~ 8.21

i recognize that i broke a promise by not posting this last night, however it was due to circumstances beyond my control. i wrote the whole thing, and when i went to hit post, my internet freaked out and closed. sooo i lost the post and am having to re-write it now. either way, here it is. the end of a Canadian saga.

ORANGE EGGS AND DYLAN: A Seuss-like Undersea Afternoon
after falling into deep tiramisu induced comas, my mom and i woke up a little later the next morning than we had planned for. oops. we decided to go downstairs, check out of our hotel (pay for the $8 bottle of water my mother accidentally bought from the minibar), get the car from the valet and head to Stanley Park. Stanley Park is a gorgeous green oasis right outside of downtown Vancouver. it is home to the Aquarium, various random statues (like "Girl in Wetsuit"), walking/hiking trails, and gorgeous look-out points. one not so great thing about Stanley Park? all the roads are one way. so once you have committed or driven past something you may have wanted to stop and see, it's too darn late. you have to go all the way back around the entire park to get back to where you think you want to be.
in making our way to a "very nice restaurant with amazing views" that was pointed out to us by the concierge, we accidentally drove right past the place, not knowing it was our destination until it was too late. so on we drove, in hopes of running into one of the other few good restaurants in the park before having to go all the way around again. in a way, i'm glad we missed our intended destination, because the brunch we got at our eventual respite was pretty fantastic. we ended up at the park's tea house with a waiter who made us feel more uncomfortable than i think most humans could. Dylan is this character's name. it all began with him placing our napkins on our laps, and got weirder the longer we were there.
being the twinkies my mother and i are, we ordered the same thing for brunch - crab eggs Benedict. upon poking my first egg with my fork i encountered a strange and almost fearful sight. the yolks were orange. and i don't mean kind of a little orangey in tint. i mean they were straight up orange. like Halloween decoration orange. freaky weird. so weird i had to take a picture to send to Jeremy, just so that someone else would have proof that if my mother and i died from eating the eggs, Dylan and the tea house were to blame. despite my initial shock and confusion, i forged on due to hunger and was surprised that the eggs tasted just fine. like normal yellow eggs. we decided that Canadian chickens must just be more Seuss-like than good old American chickens. their hens have a sense of humor.
the awkwardness of Dylan is hard to explain, it's more so one of those "you had to be there" situations. it was his entire aura that made you feel uncomfortable. also, he talked slower than is the general pace, so you felt like you were hanging on each word waiting for the end of the sentence. if it was ever going to come. he offered us tourist advice, suggesting that we go to the anthropology museum because "i know you would very much appreciate it. you would enjoy yourselves very much." how do you know that Dylan? we just met. and, frankly, we didn't meet. you introduced yourself and awkwardly served us breakfast. also, you slyly got us to order mimosas. so, we are not besties or anything.
after our delicious, albeit bizarre, brunch we headed back around the majority of Stanley Park to the Aquarium. this Aquarium is huge. i mean, giant. also, the line to get into the Aquarium wrapped nearly halfway around the building. we didn't mind, it's not like we had a pressing schedule, and this was, after all, our main Vancouver tourist attraction. standing in line was also fairly entertaining because of the pre-teen boy in front of us who, for the life of him, could not stand still in line for more than 2 minutes. if at all. he wandered through the bushes next to the line, peeking through, and finding his own path through the trees to his father in the real line. and there were plenty more people for us to watch.
once inside the doors, they take your picture in front of a green screen. you can pick out your background and buy the prints later, which of course we did. i won't describe the entire Aquarium from entrance to exit, but i will present the highlights. 1. they have BELUGAS! which is way cool. 2. they have bats. which was the least fun surprise i have ever had in my life. Aquarium means undersea. bats do not live under the sea. no thank you. 3. we saw a 4D movie, which in itself was AWESOME, but the children behind us were my least favorite people to ever exist. actually, their parents were because it was the parents who both made their children that obnoxious, and did nothing to protect us innocent bystanders from their wrath. perfect example of how some people should not be allowed to procreate. 4. the octopus changed color for us. which is pretty baller, if you ask me. 5. they have a whole downstairs exhibit dedicated to frogs. while frogs are not necessarily my favorite animals, it was still pretty cool. and some of them were kinda cute.
on our way out, we took pictures and made wishes throwing pennies into the Orca fountain in front. then we hopped in the car and headed south, back to the border and our beloved state of Washington. for some reason, waiting at the border often inspires much hilarity in our car, and this return trip was no exception. there were even videos taken in tribute to my grandmother and her hilarious way of talking. we are terribly good at impersonating her. but those will not be posted out of respect to both my mother who would be extremely embarrassed and my grandmother who would not understand that we were mocking her. all in all, it was a perfect little weekend escape, and a chance for my mother and i to flash our fancy passports. thanks, Canada for playing host. we will be seeing you again sometime i hope.

DAY THIRTY-SIX & DAY THIRTY-SEVEN ~ 8.19 & 8.20

right, so, i totally lost these two days to the life that happens outside of the internet.
thursday was just one of those days where being in Seattle when my life is in Chicago and elsewhere is way too hard to handle.
friday i helped build bookshelves with Kira in her new Seattle apartment. we laughed, we cried, we swore. oh, and we ate Mexican for lunch. yumzo. i also developed an overwhelming craving for buttermilk biscuits, so that's what i made for dinner. again, yumzo.
i can promise, however, that the final post in the Canada series will be posted tonight. it's a good one, too. how can it not be when our final day started with orange eggs and a waiter named Dylan? either way, lo siento for the no-post past couple of days. check back later for more Canadian crazy.

xoxo

DAY THIRTY-FIVE ~ 8.18

while the stories of my mother's and my last day in Canada deserve sharing, i again have ended the day with not enough energy for them. i was busy busy busy at work today, finishing up projects i've been working on for a while. it felt good to get from the printers the final product of an idea that was mine and executed by me. i'm a real working girl. not only long days have worn me out recently. it has been unbearably hot these last few days here, in the 90s and humid. today was the first relief. it only got up to 75, but it was still humid. when it's hot i get sleepy. i would rather be cold than hot any day, and that's not just because i like scarves and sweaters and coats so much.

Costco is magnificent. we all know i love me some grocery shopping. and Costco is just a super-sized grocery store. what's not to love? so when my mom randomly needs to go to Costco to "price" stuff for a staff party at her school, i jump on that train pretty quickly. and thank goodness i did, because i ended up with some soft marionberry licorice out of the deal. heck yes.

tonight i'm going to try to watch longer than 6 minutes of Chicken Run before i fall asleep. i've tried for approximately 4 nights to watch it, and i know what Jeremy will say about that. TYPICAL. but, my goal is, starting over now, to watch the whole thing in 2 nights. i have faith, especially because i have the day off on Friday. part of me hopes that falling asleep to British accents every night for a week will cause me to absorb it by osmosis. i would seriously love to sound like one of those rockin' claymation hens.

DAY THIRTY-FOUR ~ 8.17

okay, so i just really wasn't in the mood to write a post last night. and now that i'm at work, it's not really appropriate for me to take the time to complete the latest Canada series entry. so, you will just have to excuse me, loyal readers, for again not writing a real entry. i applied to more jobs last night, too, so let's just pray that SOMEONE replies to me soon. "i'm running out of clock and that ain't a shock. some things never do change, never do change."

DAY THIRTY-THREE ~ 8.16

this evening i sent resumes and cover letters to more prospective employers than i care to count. although i did, and the number is staggering. all this effort in hopes that just one will call me back and offer me ANY job that will allow me to move back to Chicago in October. it just takes one, i know that. so in an effort to concentrate the entire power of my will on the grace of my future employer, i am not writing the next part of the Canada series tonight. my heart just isn't in it. instead, i send forth this plea: sweet God let me get a job so I can be moved by the time two super huge October milestones come around. that's really all i ask. that i can celebrate big days in my life with the friends i love and miss. oh, and my mom can come, too. k, thanks.

DAY THIRTY-TWO ~ 8.15

DO YOU WANT TO SUCK THE BONE: Feigned Wealth is Hilarious
let me tell you, when the maternal unit and i planned this trip we really went all out. i mean, why not stay at a fancy hotel right downtown and spare no expense for food and daily attractions when you are only going away for two days? there really is no point to be stingy. plus, everything seems more expensive up there already because Canadian money is the one currency left that is still worse than the dollar. i think it's because they name their money stuff like the "loonie." they were just asking for trouble. we decided before leaving on our little foreign adventure that we would just pretend to be wealthy for the next couple days. not to act shocked when the cost of admission to Capilano park is outrageously more than it should be. in then end, those story poles were were the coin.
so we drove into downtown Vancouver and to our hotel, the Hotel Vancouver. that's right. THE hotel in Vancouver. now, technically, it is part of the Fairmont chain of resort hotels, but that's beside the point. it's old, and gorgeous on the outside and in. and it's smack dab in the center of downtown, right next to the art museum, or what the hoity-toity Canadians call the "gallery," and the now zeroed Olympic countdown clock. we had our car valet parked (i know, we are soooo fancy) and headed up to room 629, our home away from home. we each had a nice double bed to ourselves, both with really great mattresses, and a nice view of the city streets below. there was even a mini-bar. that's how you know you are in a fancy place, when they have the audacity to charge you $12 for a candy bar.
after dropping off our stuff, we headed back out into the concrete Canadian jungle and made our way towards the Gastown neighborhood. for whatever reason, my mother had decided she wanted to walk around Gastown while we were on our little romp in Vancouver, so we had to make this dream come true. we trekked that direction along the water wandering through other neighborhoods along the way. Gastown is the historic neighborhood of Vancouver, kind of like Pioneer Square for us Seattleites, with brick streets, old timey lamp posts and a steam powered clock. just what every major city needs. a clock powered completely by steam that plays the Westminster bells chime every quarter hour. we were fortunate enough to be walking by just at half-past the hour and were literally feet away when it chimed. loudly. then we continued on to see Gassy Jack, the founding father of Vancouver. what a classy man, that Gassy Jack. his statue is pretty cool, i have to admit.
by this point we were both pretty worn out from our long day of traveling, as well as hungry. while i'm sure there are restaurants in and around the Gastown neighborhood that would have been delightful, we, as visitors, had no idea where they were hiding. so we decided to walk back towards our hotel in hopes of seeing something along the way that struck our fancy. apparently we chose the less-traveled of roads back, because we walked for several blocks in what can only be described as the whitest and eeriest of ghettos ever. now, being the hardened big-city girl that i am, i wasn't all that scared to be walking on not so nice streets in a foreign city. it was before dusk still, too. but i will say that for some reason being yelled at by a toothless and drug addicted member of the First Nations in the same day as learning her people's history and culture through story poles was the saddest encounter with a bum i've had. she called us "purdy ladies" though, so i can't really be upset about it.
along our walk we saw a surprising ZERO restaurants. well, that may not be entirely accurate, but we didn't find one to actually stop and eat at. we did, however, see some sort of crew with overly bright lighting setting up for a film shoot of some kind in an old bank building, get asked directions by two different pairs of lost tourists, and eventually ended up eating at a restaurant less than a block away from our hotel. i won't go into the selection process of said restaurant, although it was a scene my boyfriend might call a "doosie."
we had what can only be described as a delectable meal in a very nice Italian restaurant, Don Francesco's. we shared a caprese salad to start, which was refreshing and delicious. and since the wealthy drink wine, so did we. for dinner i had my old standard, fettuccine, but this one was special. there was prosciutto in it. yum. my mom ordered ossobuco, which, if you are like me and didn't know, is braised veal shank in a hearty tomato stew-like sauce. it was tender and tasty baby cow. it is also the origin of this installment's title. apparently, one is supposed to suck the marrow from the bone as part of the ossobuco meal. my grandpa was a big bone sucker, so i'm told. after we both decided that was strange and very disgusting indeed, my mother picked up the bone and asked "do you want to suck the bone?" i politely declined this offer, and laughed hysterically. even when we are pretending to be wealthy and refined, we still manage to give ourselves away.
we ordered our desserts to go, mostly because we wanted an excuse to sit in bed wearing the nice hotel robes we were provided with, and also because we didn't want anyone at the fancy restaurant to know what fatties we really were. tiramisu and chocolate ganache cake to go brought our dinner bill to nearly the price of our one-night hotel stay. but boy was it worth it. good food and even better company made our rich ladies night on the town a rousing success.

up next - ORANGE EGGS AND DYLAN: A Seuss-like Undersea Afternoon

DAY THIRTY-ONE ~ 8.14

oh, gosh. isn't this embarrassing. i am failing once again to post the next installment in the Canada series due to a charming serial killer named Dexter. but really, the end of season one is so mind blowing i don't think i could muster the cleverness my Canada posts deserve. so, you will have to wait yet another day to hear why we were sucking bones while pretending to be rich. doesn't that just pique your curiosity...

DAY THIRTY ~ 8.13

before i share with you the latest in the Canada series, i would like to take a few lines to say Happy Birthday to the greatest Grandpa a girl could have had. Donald Cletus Cletus Fane, you will never be forgotten. i love when your birthday falls on a Friday like it did today, because it reminds me of how you used to joke "of course it's unlucky, it's the day i was born!" everybody who knew you knows that any Friday August 13 is a very LUCKY day because it's your day, and we were blessed to know you. <3

and now, on to the funny.
WOODSPRITES AND SQUIRRELS: Making the Most of the Canadian Wilderness
as we neared the other side of the Capilano Suspension bridge, Susan stopped, posed purposefully, and said "look! i'm a woodsprite!" here's the photographic evidence:

now, for those of you who are not well acquainted with my mother, you will require some explanation as to her fascination with and continued referencing of the woodsprite. a woodsprite is essentially a woodland elf, a mystical and wholly fictional being. but Susan is a believer. as we drove north to Canada earlier in the day she would comment every now and then on how this or that spot of evergreen forest looked like the perfect home for the woodsprite, elf or fairy. so when she struck her woodsprite inspired pose on the bridge i was surprised at my ability to snap that gem through my uncontrollable laughter. people must have been concerned that the mental institution had apparently let us out to play for the day...without handlers.
once across the bridge you walk along trails through the woods, passing various ponds, lookout points and informational and educational signage. the highlight, though, is what they call the Treetop Adventure. it offers you a "squirrel's eye view of the forest," according to the park's promotional materials. a series of smaller suspension bridges between giant douglas fir trees, leading ever higher toward the top of the forest, make up the Treetop Adventure. as cheesy as it is, you really do feel like a squirrel. i couldn't help myself from thinking about my favorite scene in Disney's Sword in the Stone when Merlin and little Wart transform into squirrels and fly from tree to tree being chased by their respective love interests. it was beautiful and peaceful up there, made even more perfect by the signature Northwest drizzle.



after completing our Treetop Adventure we made the trek back across the big bridge to the gift shop where we purchased a delightful assortment of items. for Jeffrey: a First Nations tranquility bead. which is basically a large stone hanging on a string of beads that is supposed to bring you tranquility (think dreamcatcher, but for stress). really very entertaining choice on Susan's part if you know much about Jeffrey. for Susan: a Christmas globe ornament with a painted First Nations version of the Madonna on it. an indian Mary, how quaint. for myself: a moose keychain (clearly a necessity, considering my love of the moose), a Vancouver shot glass, and a magnet that says "making the moose out of life" depicting an adorable moose paddling a canoe. top notch choices all around, i'd say.
we left Capilano slightly damp but completely satisfied with our first day's excursion in Canada. from there we drove to our hotel in downtown Vancouver, but that's a whole other story...next in DO YOU WANT TO SUCK THE BONE?: Feigned Wealth is Hilarious.

DAY TWENTY-NINE ~ 8.12

due to my recent obsession with Dexter and the fact that Netflix was fully functional tonight, i didn't have time to write my next installment of the Canada series. i will continue the saga tomorrow, for sure. you can thank Christine and Jeremy for the extreme distraction :)

DAY TWENTY-EIGHT ~ 8.11

Canada series, part two- SHUNNING THE YELLOW PONCHO: A First-Nations Story Pole

once we had successfully passed through those hallowed gates into the land to the north, we kept driving. on roads very much like those in Americuh. after having a slight confusion related to the conversion of kilometers into miles (which my mom didn't realize were BOTH shown on the dash) we continued on our merry way north into Vancouver. we had time to kill before check-in at the hotel, so we drove through the city, which was quite the adventure in itself. we got slightly lost, which may have been due to the 25 year old map we were attempting to use to navigate. we found PlayLand, the most broke-down excuse for an amusement park ever. we nearly got t-boned by a Canadian motorist, unless right-of-way is backwards up north.
somehow, we managed to make it to our diversion - Capilano Park, home of the Capilano Suspension Bridge. but first, we stopped to have afternoon tea like the classy ladies we are. there were scones and jam involved. it was legit. the weather was perfect, it was misty and grey - exactly the way we like the Northwest to be. as we entered Capilano park we were informed that we could receive free yellow ponchos for our park tour. poncho? i don't need no stinking poncho!
poncho-less we made our way through the story poles, which we learned is the correct name for a totem pole. the peoples of the "First Nations," who we Americans refer to as Native Americans/Indians/Redskins/etc., carve the poles to tell a story. and really, nobody knows where this "totem" nonsense came from. good to know, Capilano guide. you have taught me so much. but on to the real point of the park...the Suspension Bridge! duh duh duh. it's long, it's high off the ground, it sways back and forth as you walk, and i SURVIVED IT! TWICE! i mean, the second time was by default because once you walk across you have to make the trek again to get back to your car. either way, i felt accomplished. it was a gorgeous day, i conquered my fears, and i didn't look like a goob in a yellow plastic poncho. overall quite the success.
here's some photographic proof of my bravery:




next in the series - WOODSPRITES AND SQUIRRELS: Making the Most of the Canadian Wilderness

DAY TWENTY-SEVEN ~ 8.10

part one of my Canada series begins with...

A PASSPORT DILEMMA: The Susan Chronicles
when two people spontaneously plan a trip to a foreign country both parties generally consider the necessity of border crossing documentation. i say generally because that is what normal people do. they think "hmm. since i'm driving over an international border, i should maybe consider packing my travel and identification papers. a passport perhaps." what does one Susan Kay think? "hey! be i'm going to Canada!" aaand...crickets. so, Claire sets the plan in motion.
i booked our hotel, i found our route, i looked up attractions to visit in Vancouver. i made a kick-ass itinerary. i knew where MY passport was, so i assumed that Susan would too. she wouldn't possibly have me book a non-refundable hotel stay without first locating the ONE thing she needed to get into and back out of Canada. would she? oh. apparently she would. aaand she did. after much frantic searching and chastising of her silliness, Susan decided that her passport "must" be in the safe deposit box. really? who has those anymore? get yourself a good fire-proof personal house safe and lock yo shit up, foo. regardless, we packed the rest of our belongings, placed all of our hopes on the passport being safely stowed away at our friendly neighborhood Chase bank, and went to bed.
let me explain my hesitance to believe in the safe deposit box scenario. first of all, Susan is a notorious misplacer of items. important items - credit cards, keys, driver's license. so trusting her instinct as to where she may or may not have last put something is never a sure bet. but secondly, and more to the point, the last time Susan visited the safe deposit box she did what no other person in the illustrious history of our bank branch had every done. she broke the key in the lock. yep. no one knew what to do. locksmiths were called, we were instructed to empty the contents of the box while they serviced it. new keys had to be made. the whole box had to be replaced. she's amazing, that woman. no one is sure how it happened, but Susan managed to do it. so when she said the words "safe deposit box" to me, i envisioned a long, frustrating, disaster-filled morning impeding on my Canadian odyssey.
i threatened to leave Susan in the good ole' U.S. of A if the passport was not quickly found in the safe deposit box that morning. thank goodness i did not have to follow through on those threats, because the rest of our trip (stories to follow) would have been SO VERY BORING without Susan along for amusement and incredible company.



coming tomorrow, part two in the Canada series...
SHUNNING THE YELLOW PONCHO: A First-Nations Story Pole

DAY TWENTY-SIX ~ 8.9

i have safely returned from my Canadian excursion, and while i have much from my trip to share, i don't feel like writing a lot tonight. so, some really great Vancouver stories will be shared in the near future. suffice it to say, my mother and i had an amazing time! so much laughter, so many hilarious moments. so check back later for in-depth recaps.

in other world news, today marks the fourth month of my status as girlfriend. i'm not gonna lie, it's a pretty sweet gig. i don't like to brag, but my boyfriend is better than yours. i wish they made bumper stickers about having great boyfriends like the ones pretentious parents put on their cars. you know, "my boyfriend is cooler than your honor student" or something to that effect. if i had a car, i would totally make and display one. so, cheers JCS! you've given me four of the most amazing months of my life. i'm looking forward to many many more. <3 oh, and i'll get right on that bumper sticker idea. i'm sure it will make me millions, allowing you to assume your place as the trophy. ;)

DAY TWENTY-FIVE ~ 8.6

due to spontaneous reservations for a Canadian voyage to begin tomorrow, i have little to say tonight. i also won't be blogging from Canada, but i will be sure to give the run-down of my adventure when i return. the maternal unit and i will be driving up to Vancouver tomorrow to stay the night and hang out at such local attractions as the sick-nasty aquarium and historical Gastown neighborhood. i'll be sure to take pics, just in case you need a better understanding of what the Canadian people look like, should you ever need to identify one.

see you on the flip side, countrymen. i'll tell you all aboot my trip in a couple days!

DAY TWENTY-FOUR ~ 8.5

two Honey Moons with my dinner tonight was the best decision i've made all week. i was even classy and used an orange slice garnish. that's right, like the bartenders do.

part of me is reassured that i am well-informed about such matters as bed bugs. i can thank my RA training and experience for that knowledge. the other part of me, however, hates being the person who has the understanding to be paranoid about such far-out ills. when RKT calls me to tell her she does not have bedbugs in her Chicago studio apartment, i know all the signs to check for. gross. not one of the tools i wanted or expected to leave Loyola with.

DAY TWENTY-THREE ~ 8.4

watching Back to the Future Part II is making me extremely disappointed in 2010. the 2015 of the Doc's future features flying cars, hoverboards, the sickest looking Nikes, 3D hologram billboards, World Series winning Cubs, self-adjusting clothes, and one thing we actually have now, a retro 80s cafe. also, baby Elijah Wood shows up. i seriously doubt that five years from now in the real 2015 we will have the baller swag they've got in the movie. one thing that comforts me is that old man fashion doesn't change. ancient Biff looks like just as much of a dork in those high-waisted plaid pants as any present-day grandpa would. my biggest question: is Marty's daughter a trannie? cuz she's looking a little rough.

ever since Dunder Mifflin Scranton became a part of my life, i have wanted to work in an office setting like that, to feel like i was on the show. this dream will in some small way become reality tomorrow. it may not be the pretzel man, but our entire business park is being treated to ice cream from an ice cream truck tomorrow afternoon. that's right. we will stand in line (NO CUTTING ALLOWED) waiting patiently for our turn to order a delicious frozen treat. if i could, i would get mine with all the fixins...but i don't know what toppings will be offered for popsicles. i will be slightly disappointed not being able to stand in line and share the joy with the likes of Stanley Hudson and Kevin Malone. i'd even chill with Angela Martin as we devoured our free dessert, but i would not talk about cats.

DAY TWENTY-TWO ~ 8.3

let's discuss the goats. oh my gosh the goats. backstory: a few nights ago, my mom and i took the dog for an evening car ride up to this farm property not too far from us. they usually have cows and some horses wandering around in their pasture. we pulled off the main road near their land so we could stay in the car but still see the animals and by the grace of God we had stopped right next to the goat pasture. the goats immediately came towards the fence by our car, nibbling and making goaty noises. i talked to them and soon discovered a hidden talent i posses. i am THE GOAT WHISPERER. they loved me. we communicated. it was magical. and not only that, but they were freaking adorable, too. they were excited to have us visiting and just went about their little goatly lives, sporting beards and paying zero attention to my crazed dog in the backseat. since making their acquaintance, my mother, the dog and i have revisited our hoofed friends on a few occasions. they never cease to greet us with genuine excitement and dopey cuteness. my summer is now complete thanks to the goat friends i have made.

DAY TWENTY-ONE ~ 8.2

ironically on the day of my 21st post i discussed alcohol at work, sharing harrowing stories of nights that i will never forget and some that i can't remember. getting skanked up for the tarts and vicars party in Fairfield A107. playing beer pong and quarters on Thursdays sophomore year after The Office. pre-new year's eve 2009 in Bellingham and the real deal with our moose-loving friends to the north, including a whole heck of a lot of tequila. my 21st birthday at John Barleycorn, drinking way too many shots in not a lot of time and getting "hawked" by the toolbags on the dance floor. RKT and i treading in below zero weather through the Chicago streets after dark, post margarita bonanza and Cesar's betrothal to Rachie. boardgame madness with the girls at one of the coolest bars in the city, Guthries. the Stitely Entertainment V-day massacre 2010 with my euro gay escort and keeks. ballhands' and my Funk Phenomenon complete with turquoise leggings and a triumphant return to John Barleycorn for some Trout time and foreign network jamming. bananas foster and the "gingo" with my mom, Kira and a bottle of rum. my 10 vodka-sodas (with a splash of cranberry) in 3 hours with Mads at Mad River. followed closely by my pink pasta puke explosion. one fateful game of blackjack <3. the end of senior year that seemed like a blur of drunken nights and hilarious escapades. drinking in Mertz and feeling like a rule-breaking badass. my drunken, sobbing, last minute bus ride with one of the loves of my life, Kaeli, to Damen ball. that one week period in which i drank each and every day, all on Loyola's dime. one VERY special fiesta. saying goodbye for now to Hamilton's, see you later to some incredible people, and i'll never forget to the best four years of my life. and no, not everything i loved about college involved alcohol. i promise.

DAY TWENTY ~ 8.1

shit happens.

this post didn't.

DAY NINETEEN ~ 7.31

okay so i recognize that this is yet another late post. but let me give you the low-down on last night's Tomczak household drama.
1) yesterday my mom and i spent the ENTIRE day cleaning. we completely rearranged our den as part of its transition into welcoming guest room. for those of you who don't know, the den has become my father's unibomber cave. he hides in there from, well, everything, and has essentially moved in. this means, it's full of his crap and nothing is organized and he's wasting a ton of space.
2) part of this process involved getting all of the DVDs in one place, and organizing them in a way that will fit and makes them accessible. my mom alphabetized the movies and arranged them neatly on the shelves. then she put all the television shows together and made them neat and tidy, too. another thing you should know about my father is that he owns a ridiculous number of completely worthless DVDs. he buys the dumbest movies and he buys them in bulk. so, my mom's was no small task.
3) all was well, we were busy little worker bees and were making large strides toward greatness. then, Jeffrey came home. and all quickly became very not well. mostly for my mom because i hid in the den alphabetizing books for the bookshelves, but loud and frustrating nonetheless.
i will not bore you with the details of the battle, albeit hilarious, but this, dear friends, is my excuse for a late post. now on to more pleasant matters.

in conducting research for my previous post (random and often hilariously strange laws still in effect in our 50 states), i learned many things about this great nation.
1) most states think oral sex is icky and bad.
2) there are an inordinate number of states with laws regarding the illegality of keeping one's horse or donkey in the bathtub. firstly, how many individuals are in possession of a donkey these days? and, what would be the advantage of bathroom storage of said hoofed creature?
3) Florida has one of the best mixed-bags of crazy when it comes to weird state laws. it was one of only a handful of states where choosing the funniest for my post was a difficult matter.
4) another recurring law, of which the origins still baffle me, is the oft-repeated "persons shall not have ice cream cones in their back pockets." that would just be a sticky awkward mess.
5) back to Florida for a moment, someone had to have attempted to have sexual relations with a porcupine for one state law to have been created. just think about the physics of that for a moment.
6) many states explicitly stipulate that missionary position is the only acceptable way for couples to make sexy time. let's jump into the 21st century, people. we've got sex position-a-day calendars here.
7) according to most states, we are still in a dangerous war with the injuns. it's every man for himself. especially on Sunday at church. bring your rifles, kids. the redskins are coming.
8) for all four years of my college career i lived in what would have been considered by several states a brothel. i will have you know, i made far less money in that time than i would have if i had indeed resided in a brothel. thank you, very much.